I can’t help but feel like I’ve been struggling a bit these last couple of weeks. With only two weeks left of the program, I can say that I’m looking forward to returning to America. Of course, Japan has been incredible, but I also can’t help but miss not only family and friends, but that familiar lifestyle of work and school. Believe it or not, I’ve become a bit sick of going out sightseeing, and I’ve been buying less and less souvenirs. What I want now is go get back to that routine that, before arriving in Japan, I was so tired of. Funny how things work that way.
With no job and, essentially, one class, there is actually quite a bit of free time for students—a little too much free time in my case. After attending classes in the morning, I tend to either stay and chat with classmates or go out to eat with them, and then return home, bored out of my mind. In addition to that, being the shy person that I am, I’ve continued to struggle in inviting others to go out with me during this boredom. The introvert within me as well has become exhausted from socializing the past four months as well. I’ve recently thought about all the activities and projects I’ve done during this program as well. From the various presentations, school trips, interviews and tests, I’m definitely feeling the most burnt out that I’ve ever been in a while.
Although I honestly do miss working and attending classes other than Japanese, I can’t help but feel worrisome over returning to that lifestyle as well. I’m going to be a senior starting this fall, and am planning to work on-campus as well as off. I am also going to be focusing on artwork and work towards building a portfolio starting in the summer. It’s as though right after finishing my program-related tasks and return to America, I’ll be receiving a brand-new set of tasks to complete. Beginning a new chapter is always a little unnerving, but there is some excitement. Despite the stress, I’ll be looking forward to what I’ll be working on summer onward.