I have to want Gods will and his way by any means necessary.
This first week in Costa Rica has been a challenge,I have been faced with many situations not only physical but spiritual. As the Lord has opened my eyes to this great opportunity I realized that one cannot be blessed unless first he has been tried. The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy and he wants to get too and exploit your greatest weakness before you can offer it unto the Lord. I have realized how blessed I am during my first couple of days in Costa Rica the things I used to take for granted in Maryland seem to hit me as an unreal dream.I mean coming from a country where its looked down upon if the tubs not clean to a country where they have an electric shower where your just praying for ten good seconds of hot water before you have to turn it off and wait to do the process all over again.Where in America people need the latest and greatest technology to wash our clothes and here the gift of hands that the Lord has given us does a job well done. Where televisions separate a family at dinner time in America, dinner time in Costa Rica is one of the most intimate parts of the day where the experiences of the day can be expressed over laughs and phrases. I thought to myself what made me special why was I privileged to live in America where everything is in abundance. I look and hate that I took so many of the blessings of The Lord for granted.
One gift of The Lord I have taken for granted and realized in my first week of being in Costa Rica is God’s grace. As if its something He owes me or something I’m entitled too. In the days of Jesus I might have been looked at as a gentile and Jesus wasn’t sent to save the gentiles but the lost of Israel. As we read about the greek woman in Mark and how Jesus said “its not right to give the children’s bread to the dogs”. I thought what if I was one of the dogs and what if Gods grace was supposed to be given to someone else and I was to go without until others were truly filled. I say this because my first full day here in Costa Rica all the study abroad students went out to a bar to have a night out. I haven’t really partook in this kinda of lifestyle in a long time but I said to myself hey its the first night here have fun and enjoy yourself. I was led astray by my own desires and did not follow in The Lords. Needless to say I felt terrible after the night knowing that even though my family, friends, Church family could not see what I was doing The Lord could. I realized that even though I’m in a different country I’m still a child of the Most High God, and I must live in a way that is worthy of Him. I thank God that his love is ever lasting and he is married to the backslider.
One challenge I have had during these past couple of days is honestly just trying to understand and know what The Lord wants me to do. Wondering where do you want me to go, who do you want me to be around,what do you want me to accomplish today. Really trying to put God as head of your actions can sometimes be difficult especially if everything around you is new and theres a way that seemeth right unto to man right in front of you. I found my self wanting to do Gods will but in my own timing. As I read a passage today in Mark 7:33-35 a deaf and mute man was brought to Jesus and how Jesus healed him took me aback for a second. Then the Holy Spirit spoke to me saying “ I have to want Gods will and his way by any means necessary.” See, when you want God to move in your life you don’t care about how he does it, you don’t care what method he uses all you care about is that He does do it. God’s timing is perfect but waiting on God is the most difficult discipline in God I’ve learned.But the Lord said “But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength;They shall mount up with wings like eagles,They shall run and not be weary,They shall walk and not faint.”
So as for right now Im just waiting on The Lord putting my trust in Him knowing that he will bless my trip and that I don’t have to take part in drinking, partying, etc to have a good time in Costa Rica. I will delight myself in the Lord and He will give me the desires of my heart for my trip. I thank you all for your prayers and I pray that God fill you with His joy in your journey with Christ.