Dear 30-Year old Me

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Dear 30-year-old me,

Today is July 4th, 2023 01:22 am JST time. Currently working on some assignments for class. After completing everything, I am going to continue to self-study a little on Kanji and Japanese Grammar since I want to be able to prepare for the Japanese proficiency test in December. But anyways, how are you doing? I hope you are doing great; better than I hope. I know last week I did say that I would talk more about some of the things that have happened so far here in Japan, but I am really having a lot to think about and I want to talk to you about them.

It’s the last year of my undergraduate career which I still cannot completely comprehend since it does not feel like I am ready to set towards the next page of my life. To be honest, I am not just worried, I am very scared. There are many times when I always stood standing tall, whether it was going to a new school, learning how to do a task at a new job, or even graduating high school and going to a CSUSB. I am usually not the type of person to admit these kinds of things because I want others to look up to me as someone who is optimistic and strong, but I admit I am really scared. I have a lot of emotions running through my head. A lot of things that I am thinking of right now, such as extending my Visa to study a little longer here in Japan, finding an internship in Japan to gain experience, and just trying to improve my communication skills as much as possible.

I am also thinking about what I am going to do when I head back home; fill out my grad check, graduate, and begin to set out to find a new page of my life to fill in. Still, I have a mixture of feelings right now I feel really lost. Even right now, I can’t find the exact words to describe what I am feeling and I almost feel like I am just talking nonsense. But I also know that deep down, everything will be okay in the end. I always tell myself that I tend to overthink things. And you out of everyone know that this is true.

I have so much that I still haven’t done in the time that I have been here. I don’t want to go back home, and yet I have people that are waiting for me back home, and that is the sole reason why I have endured so much up to this point, and now that I am here, I don’t know what to do. However, what I do know is that everything that I have done here has been something I will never forget. Being here in Japan as both my first and last time studying as an exchange student, I can safely say that I have no regrets about what I have done.

I have more to talk about so I will be talking more about this later. But I just want you to know that I am hanging there, for the sake of your future that I will be living one day, I must be better; I must choose the person I want to be in the future because that will determine what makes a world better or worse. I will talk to you later. But take a look at these pictures below and hopefully it gives you a little insight into what has happened so far this year. Take care.

Your 24-Year-Old Self