The Best Time Ever
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I think sometimes thereโs this feeling that Iโm doing something wrong if Iโm not feeling good in London. Which is revealing of the fact that I did come to London with expectations despite trying not to. I think hearing from people about how great of a time Iโm going to have or how exciting and fun it will be made me think and anticipate an amazing time abroad. And for some people it may be like that, everyday is a really happy day. Or some people donโt think about it like that at all; they just wake up and take on the day. But I think for most people there are days in every shade, most of them being ordinary.
It can be hard to shake the feeling of preoccupation over whether Iโm making the most out of my study abroad experience or whether Iโm using this precious time here well to make a good experience for myself. Especially when hearing about what other people are doing, itโs hard to not compare and feel a fault with what Iโm doing if Iโm not skiing in Chamonix over the weekend or going to Paris or Florence. Sometimes thereโs also this obsessive compulsion to make sure every minute in London has been maximized and Iโm doing the most that I can and if Iโm not out doing something this feeling that Iโm wasting time can start to creep in.
But thinking like that is exhausting and ruins the present moment. I didnโt want those thoughts taking up space in my mind. Itโs a process but Iโve learned to be okay with what Iโm doing and how Iโm spending my time. Every single day doesnโt have to be magical and blissful and that doesnโt mean Iโve failed to make the most of this experience. The experience is what it is, an experience. Not a good or magical or special experience, but just an experience. Each day is just a day, and you can only take what comes with it. Sometimes it will be an okay day and you will feel just all right and that is okay. You can only accept what comes with each day and go with it. This may all sound very cheesy, and you may be rolling your eyes thinking of course sheโs going to say something like that but Iโm grateful that Iโm learning to let go. Letting go of making this a good experience and just taking it as it comes.
It’s also okay to not be doing anything on the weekends or going to all these extraordinary places. The whole point of study abroad is to be in a different place as a student. That can entail traveling and exploring every weekend, but that can also be simply going to class and coming home and maybe going out occasionally. There is no right or optimal way a study abroad experience must unfold. It doesnโt have to be any particular type of experience; it doesnโt have to achieve a specific set of goals. Each personโs experience is different and your experience being different from someone elseโs doesnโt mean youโre failing to make this a special experience or optimizing your study abroad experience. There is no good or right study abroad experience.