“Everyday I discover more and more beautiful things. It’s enough to drive one mad. I have such a desire to do everything, my head is bursting with it.”
~ Claude Monet
The title of this blog entry sounds peculiar, but I promise it will all tie in nicely in the end.
Ever the mathematician, when I arrived in South Korea I was determined to optimize my study abroad experience. Academics? Check. Cultural Experiences? Check. New relationships? Check. In hindsight, I was fairly confident that I could manage all of these different facets of my life and, for the most part, I handled them fairly well. For about a week.
In an attempt to establish a new routine, every morning I would wake up, workout, and go to class. As I made my way for lunch, I would greet the iconic campus cat and then make my way to the library to do some work. Hypothetically, this would give me time in the afternoon to explore a new cafe or meet up with friends. The highlight of my afternoon was stopping for a chocolate cookie at the bakery near the dorms that was run by an older couple who reminded me of my grandparents. The weekends, then, could be reserved for bigger events. For me, routine was good because it would allow me to actually experience living, and not just vacation, in South Korea. Very quickly, however, I realized four months was not enough time to do everything. To most people, this might seem like an obvious fact but for me it was a shocking realization that made me anxious. On the one hand, there was an opportunity to experience something new every single day. After all, I decided to study abroad to live in a new country and not just live in the library. Nonetheless, I was studying abroad, which meant that I also had academic responsibilities that I needed to attend to. For the first few weeks, I felt overwhelmed and guilty trying to decipher my priorities.
Not long after, the most unexpected event appeased my worries: the cherry blossom season in South Korea. I must admit that I gravely underestimated the beauty of this short, but beautiful event. In the days leading up to the cherry blossom blooming, it was the only thing people talked about. The best locations. The best picture spots. The best festivals. Personally, I thought this event was seriously overhyped. Oh, how wrong I was. Along with some friends, we decided to visit the Yeouido Cherry Blossom Festival and, as I got off the bus, I was amazed by the view before me. Hundreds of cherry blossom trees lined the street, all in full bloom. The hues of pink melting with the colors of the sunset were mesmerizing. I suddenly understood why people traveled so far to see the cherry blossoms. The next few days, I made an effort to enjoy the cherry blossoms as much as I could because, as my new friends explained, the cherry blossom season only lasts a few days. And they were right. With the first rain, the petals of the cherry blossoms fell and green began to cover the streets. What I wasn’t expecting was the sadness that followed. During one of my runs through the cherry blossoms, as the petals were falling, I began to see my youth in the blossoms. All of this anticipation for the years that I was living, just so that they would soon be gone too. Trust me, I was not expecting an existential crisis to come out of the cherry blossom season.
My point is that seeing the cherry blossoms helped me realize life is a balancing act. Doing everything is absolutely impossible. So, in our limited time, we must prioritize the things that are most important to us, finding a balance between our more permanent goals and the beautiful fleeting moments and experiences of life. On the one hand, the temporariness of life should not be an excuse for us to disregard our more permanent goals that require consistent work in the present. For example, I realized there were responsibilities that I wanted to continue to uphold while I was studying abroad: maintaining a strong relationship with my family, strengthening my faith, upholding my academic work ethic. Nonetheless, I also valued and prioritized the spontaneous opportunities and moments that presented themselves in South Korea. A night walk by the Han River. A weekend trip to Jeju. A night watching the fireworks in Pohang. These were all amazing, fleeting moments that now make for beautiful memories.
In the end, the adored campus cat passed away, my favorite bakery closed down, and all the cherry blossom petals fell. But summer came. And so did the rain. And my newfound love for chocolate tarts. All this to say that studying abroad taught me life is all about balance. It is not about doing everything you want to do, but appreciating and valuing all that you do get to do. Eventually, I realized that studying at one of the best universities in South Korea was also a once in a lifetime opportunity. Thus, excelling in my academics would be a great personal and academic achievement that would help me achieve more permanent goals like becoming a more competitive applicant for graduate programs. Now, I value fleeting moments but aim to consistently work towards my more permanent goals; my relationships, academics, health. To anybody that is studying abroad, I urge you to live your own study abroad experience and not compare your experience with anybody else’s; doing so will just lead to feeling like you are missing out, instead of realizing all of the amazing things you get to do. Also, as easy as it is, strive to not to dissociate from your life back home because your relationships and goals are equally as important and will be waiting when you return. Above all, I hope studying abroad is a time where you can learn new things about yourself, your values, and worldview. There’s a learning curve to it, but I promise it is worthwhile.
