How do I leave a life I have built?

My friend is visiting me during my last days here in Rome, Italy. While she is out here I am showing her the things and people I know. She mentions surprised how I have a little mini life out here. During my time out here, I embraced and opened myself to new experiences and meeting new people, because of that I have created so many spaces and memories for myself. Three months. I was so homesick and in a mental space where I was fighting myself because I had to meet a part of myself I hadn’t met yet. I was meeting new people, unfortunately, a lot who were not good for me, and had to deal with that negative energy. I think I experienced more negative situations than I expected coming into this which sucks but I cannot control others and their actions. I wish I could say I didn’t let it get to me but it did a little. Even yet I move forward happily with what I have going on.

I have my girls here who I love and I met great people who make it all worth it. I had to learn to stand up for myself, stray away from the bad, and lean more towards the good in life in a short span because I wanted to enjoy my time surrounded by love and fun. When my friend mentioned that I have created a life out here I realized I am leaving it so soon. In exactly a week. I’m leaving the home I have created in a week. Typing that out makes me anxious and emotional. It makes my heart feel heavy. It is a foreign feeling that I have been sitting with without trying to react to it. I mentioned to FEA that I have moved and gone to a lot of schools throughout my life. When I would move I’d make friends and then have to move again and leave everything I created. However, these situations never made my heart hurt or made me sad. I knew that I wasn’t going to stay for long and would soon have to leave everything I’d built for myself in every new environment. So why does this feeling feel foreign? I have gone through this many times before, just not in a different country. I thought it was because this new environment in Rome is on positive terms whereas when I was younger I knew we were moving because of financial reasons. I don’t know. How do I leave a life I have built? I am so grateful to have the opportunity to have done this. This will have forever changed my life for the better. I forgot what California feels like but I will know very soon. A short story coming to an end. An amazing and beautiful story.

In the photo, I am the one standing giving a toast on Turkey Day with everyone in the program and giving thanks for the blessing provided to us and to our program who has taken care of us. Thank you Andrea for capturing this moment.