Home: On Forgiveness through Care

Published:


Dewayne Martin

<i>"Hello" in your host country's language:</i> Hello <i>Home Institution (your U.S. University/College):</i> Hamilton College <i>Expected graduation year:</i> 2024 <i>Destination city & country:</i> Oxford, England <i>Program provider:</i> IFSA <i>Major/minor:</i> Public Policy / History <i>Demographics:</i> African American/Black, First-Generation College Status, Person with a disability <i>Future career aspirations:</i> I hope to explore political strategy and develop political thought/communication pedagogies. <i>Top 3 goals for your time abroad:</i> 1. Develop a clearer sense of my writing process and investigate my relationship with academia. 2. Meet and collaborate with individuals doing organizing work and learn about the nuanced approaches used given the social context. 3. Explore the relationship between student involvement on educational bodies and social change.

The airport arrival did not feel real. As I rushed in to pay for my checked luggage, there was a difficulty verifying my visa. Wearing my mask, I had to use my password to get into my phone. In angst, assuming that my inability to access was due to an issue with my screen, I continued to enter the same password until my phone was locked. When I realized I locked my phone right before I was about to embark on this long journey alone I frantically tried to think of all the various combinations it could be to no avail. Unbeknownst to me, an anxious and sleep deprived Dewayne changed my password in a frenzy at 3am the night prior while packing.

Before I could check-in to my flight, I was thrusted into the unknown. I arrived to Worcester College with luggage and a reset phone with all of my memories deleted. It took me a few days to get adjusted. Hectically running around the city, the bliss of novelty overcame any anxiety that had arose the day prior. Although there were moments I got boggled down in the stressfulness of moving to a new place, whenever I looked up I was calmed. I found sanctuary in grounding โ€” in reminding myself where I am and why I am here.

My first few weeks at Worcester have taught me invaluable and unexpected lessons. While here, Iโ€™ve learned more about home than anything else. I learned forgiveness for the past, for myself, and how to navigate care within grievance. I learned to let go and accept the new.

Iโ€™m excited for more lessons along the way and I look forward to telling you more about it.

With love,

Dewayne