Being Vulnerable

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Cvetanka Rizvanovic

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Cvetanka Rizvanovic

<i>"Hello" in your host country's language:</i> Hallo <i>Home Institution (your U.S. University/College):</i> The University of Utah <i>Expected graduation year:</i> 2024 <i>Destination city & country:</i> Amsterdam, Netherlands <i>Program provider:</i> University of Utah Exchange Program <i>Major/minor:</i> Elementary Education / Human Development and Family Studies <i>Demographics:</i> Caucasian/White, First-Generation American, First-Generation College Student, Bosnian with a Refugee Background <i>Future career aspirations:</i> I am currently working to obtain my Bachelor's degree in Elementary Education with future plans to earn my Master's degree in education to serve in an administrative position. I strive to adopt a pedagogy that focuses on embracing cultural diversity and in doing so, work towards resolving educational inequities while strengthening community and family connections in all aspects of education. Within my career, I will address the intersections of environmental justice and quality of education as I believe it is of the utmost importance that every child receives an excellent education regardless of their socioeconomic status and positionality. <i>Top 3 goals for your time abroad:</i> 1. Familiarize myself with different teaching styles and view the art of education from a multicultural lens. 2. Work on identifying and dismantling my own biases, learn how to implement Anti-Bias education. 3. Gain a better understanding of how Amsterdam and international history have influenced the Netherlands ' successful education model as one of the best in the world.

This week has been the most difficult for me while being abroad. I think being away from my central support systems has proved difficult, and on top of it all, as every twenty-year-old woman will eventually go through, it was my turn to face my first heartbreak. Timing-wise, this week has not been perfect because I feel my emotions so intensely, especially the negative ones, therefore focusing on myself was my main priority this week. I’m so grateful for my roommate, Rachel because she has made sure I’ve been doing alright throughout the stress and in doing so she has shown me what a compassionate and caring friend she truly is. Thanks to her and her penguin stuffed animal Skipper (yes, named after the penguin in ‘Madagascar’), I made it through the week.

I’m so lucky to live near a cafe where I have been studying lately. I’ve noticed that the iced coffees here are less sweet than those in Utah, so I’ve been experimenting with different orders and trying to find my signature drink to accompany me while I take notes. I’m very proud of myself because, despite my current emotional situation, I have taken up almost half of my notebook with study material for my ‘Nature v. Nurture’ course. I have learned to enjoy this course more now that I have gotten to know another exchange student with that I’ve become close with named Anita. She and I became friends one day because she forgot her laptop charger and I happened to bring mine to class. After class, we were put into the same study group and I walked her to my apartment because I had an umbrella and it was pouring outside. She and I have overcome a lot together from her bike lock breaking to our late afternoon study seshes in the NU building, I’m so happy to have met her.

Next week I have a presentation that I’m nervous about so Anita and I have been spending the week preparing for it. I’m excited but intimidated because the lecture halls I attend are very large and there are so many more students than I’m used to working with at home. I’m sure everything will be alright, however, I am nervous to showcase my findings in such a rigorous academic atmosphere. I think it is so important for me to be vulnerable despite my fears, because I want to learn from my experiences here in Amsterdam and especially at the VU, so I’m feeling especially motivated this week to grow and keep moving forward. Aside from school, I plan on taking a weekend adventure trip with Rachel which is another thing to look forward to. I think having events to look forward to helps me feel a lot better if you can’t tell haha 😁