I’ve fallen into the routine of going to school in Japan.
While I still have events and trips that I look forward to, right now I’m content with just living my life as it goes. Previously, I felt great dissatisfaction with how I was living my life, but, now, even by not doing much, I feel happy with it.
If I could get a part-time job here, and just continue living my life, I think it would be perfect. However, I know that things can’t work out like that, and that after this year is over, I’ll never be able to experience this again.
It’s oddly melancholic, and even though the school year is far from over, I still dread the end. I had thought that I might move to Japan, and perhaps teach English here for a while. And, I think I will probably still do that, even if I end up disliking it and leave after a year. But, while I knew about some of the cultural problems within Japan, especially regarding women and gaijin, I’ve thought a lot about if that’s what I truly want.
In my Japan and the World class, we recently watched a video about a documentary where Japanese career women moved from Japan to America, and these particular women stated that they didn’t want to go back to Japan, as they felt they couldn’t properly express themselves.
While I love the positive aspects of Japanese culture, as an adult, I’ve had to consider whether I could truly live in a constrictive culture, where women are expected to marry and have children, because the country desperately needs new citizens. A culture where, even if foreigners live here for decades, and become citizens, they will still always be treated differently.
It’s rather disheartening, because I still don’t want to live in America, either. Perhaps a different area from where I live, as there are many places different than [redacted], Oklahoma. I’ve just got to try various things, I suppose.
Find a place where I feel like I belong.